I would like to pose the same question to you as well. How do you define dating? What does it mean to go on a date? What entails a date?
Aven Amour,
Elisse
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Dating
Class today was a relatively exciting one! We were given a couple of research scenarios and asked to pick what we thought would be the best solution to the presented problem. The second scenario generated quite a long discussion. And that discussion was, none other than the always exciting topic, dating. The answer I picked to be the best way to fix his research problem, was to define what dating is.
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There are three kinds of dating; exclusive, casual, undefined. They should be kind of be self explanatory.
ReplyDeleteA date can mean what ever you want it to mean. What may translate to be a proposal arrangement for one may just be fun time to get to know someone for another. You create your own definition if what it means to go on a date. This is where most people let it get complicated.
What entails a date? 3 Ps
Paired, planned (to a realistic extent), and payed for. At least that's what I've told. There's a talk about it somewhere that can give specific details. I'm sure you've heard of it. I think Oaks gave it.
You never even have to say the word date. Some people get all awkward once you title it as such. I had a girl call me a year later to try to understand if I intended a one on one, paired off, paid for encounter to be a date. Umm, yes! It was a little weird to hear about but sometimes clarity is the right move.
The truth is there is no universal understanding of dating any more. Hangouts, group dates, whatever! Dating's purpose is to get to know someone. It's important to do so in all settings. So in a broad sense you date (court, learn) everyone you meet. I go with the understanding from the theme of Hitch. You do what you do best and go with your approach to dating that works best for you.
dat·ing
ReplyDelete[ dáyting ]
1. activity of going on dates: the activity of going out regularly with somebody as a social or romantic partner
2. establishing of age of something: the activity of establishing how old an object or substance is, often with the use of sophisticated scientific techniques.
3. offering of good credit terms: the provision of generous credit terms with regard to payment dates, e.g. allowing a preferred customer 90 days for repayment rather than the standard 30 days
These are the definitions of dating but I think the first one best describes it while the other two are dating for other factors but you never know you could use them possibly too.
To go on a date means there was a signal of mutual interest to spending time together, mostly paired off, to get to know each other. I think that many of us have a hard time telling another that we may not be interested and it ends up being called a friend date only to not let a person down. Sometimes it's best to tell the truth and move on instead of wasting another's time and hope. Sometimes that is not the case and things workout but if you have no interests in the other let them know before they get their hopes up. When one accepts to go on a date take that serious and go but dont say yes because you are afraid to tell them no face to face and cancel when the time comes. It shows that you are not confident in yourself and can affect others ideas about you.
A date, to me, means spending time with another as a pair to enjoy each others company and see how compatible they are with one another. It is a time to do activities such as taking a walk, going to the movies, getting ice cream together, making nutella hot chocolate ;) or some kind of dessert or some activity, like service, that shows the other what kind of person they really are. Nothing to impress but a time to enjoy each others smiles.
Dating is basically the result of basic attraction. Male finds female attractive asks her to dinner or whatever. Female either takes a look and says yeah i want to get to know you or no i don't want to get to know you. It's pretty simple. Now attraction can be many different things. "She is cute ill ask her out" and "he is cute ill accept a date" or i like what he said there i want to know more. Drew has it with the 3 p's. And i do think people waste time going on dates with people they never intend to date. It is way more complicated than it needs to be. The most basic dating formula i feel is...i want to see you naked + you want to see me naked = dates.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea who you are...but I'm seriously loving your post. Haha
DeleteMost of what I think was already said, so I'm just going to add a few more aspects to this.
ReplyDeleteI agree that everyone has their own definition of dating. They might all be similar, but I think they all vary in one part or another, thus a general definition that everyone will agree on is hard to find and might even vary from date to date.
My personal definition also varies depending on where I am. The definition of a date in the US is very different than the one in Germany. Dating does not only vary from person to person and date to date but also from culture to culture. Asking a girl out on a proper date in Germany basically means, that you have a crush on her. Thus, it's seen a lot more serious than in the US. I personally like the American way a lot better, where going on a date isn't considered something so serious. It just means that you'd like to get to know each other better. At least that's what I've been told. Correct me if I'm wrong...
However, my definition can change from date to date.
A first date to me, is always just to get to know each other. The definition of the next date, will always depend on the preceding date.
If something happens during a date, that will change the definition for the next date, it will be self explanatory.