A list of some amazing Marriage and Family blogs

http://lexandfamily.weebly.com/the-family.html http://www.allysfamilylife.blogspot.com/ http://amberkranc.blogspot.com/ http://thoughtsonhomeandfamily.blogspot.com/ http://baileybaird.blogspot.com/ http://caitlinschofield.blogspot.com/ http://candicermerrill.blogspot.com/ http://familiesareforeverandever.blogspot.com/ http://lovethatlasts4ever.blogspot.com/ http://thenutty9.blogspot.com/ http://familiesconnectedtoheaven.blogspot.com/ http://haileypaterafamily.blogspot.com/ http://miissblondiiefamilies.blogspot.com/ http://thefamilyrelationship.blogspot.com/ http://the-family-is-ordained-of-god.blogspot.com/ http://thatsalongtime.blogspot.com/ http://lovemyeternalfamily.blogspot.com/ http://throughtheeternities.blogspot.com/ http://tormentorjoy.blogspot.com/ http://familysmatteralot.blogspot.com/ http://kelseyleighannmurphy.blogspot.com/ http://kodydaffer.blogspot.com/ http://alove4eternity.blogspot.com/ http://centeredonfamily.weebly.com/index.html http://madelinemarievance.blogspot.com/ http://smilingfamilies.blogspot.com/ http://someviewsonlife.blogspot.com/ http://thestrongestalliance.blogspot.com/ http://patrickallenwilliams.blogspot.com/ http://4everfamiles.blogspot.com/ http://raebar92.blogspot.com/ http://sammischaweet.blogspot.com/ http://familiiesareforever.blogspot.com/ http://tinatrepanier.blogspot.com/ http://familyrelationsbytod.blogspot.com/

Marriage?

"It's not fun like I thought it would be." - Judge Ramell

Judge Ramell is one of the judges for Madison County, Idaho. When asked about divorce within Madison County, one of the most frequent reasons given is the above statement - they just didn't think it would be as fun. When I first heard this, I was a little shocked. Didn't everybody know that marriage isn't easy? But it got me to thinking - why do I want to get married?

Well...let's figure this out:
I want, more than anything, to have MY chance at a forever family.

In a BYU-Idaho devotional, I believe last semester, there was an amazing talk given by a woman who I can't remember her name (great reference, right?). But one thing she said really stood out to  me - "You have two chances at a successful family. The one you grew up in and the one you're going to create." I had never thought about marriage and family that way before but I know I never want to take for granted a second chance.

I would like to tell you a little story:
"I went through a series of relationships, finally got married, and within a few years was divorced. I thought I would never find "Mr. Right." So I decided to get my college degree. When I took a social psychology class and studied symbolic interactionism, I had a revelation: I divorced my husband because he was a man!
I know that sounds silly. What I mean is, I learned that our behavior reflects the gender roles that we learn in our society. I thought my ex-husband was just a bad catch. Now I realize that he was only acting like most men who learn the traditional male role in our society. I know now that I could have accepted this and that we could have worked together to iron out the things that were vexing me.
It's just too bad I didn't take the course before I got married" (Robert and Jeanette Lauer, Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy, p. 22). True story.

Not gonna lie, I may have looked like a dying seal when I read this for the first time (really attractive laugh, right?). But let's get real here: how often do we enter a relationship where something like this happens? We all make stupid mistakes when it comes to dating - but do we really want to make those same mistakes when we're married? I know I don't. And how do we avoid that? Three things: EDUCATE YOURSELF, MAKE A LIST, AND COMMUNICATE! Here's just a couple of ways.

Educate Yourself:
1. Learn what makes a successful marriage.
2. Ask around - family member's, friend's, etc.
3. Pray about it.

Make a List:
1. Make a list of what type of wife and mother you want to be.
2. Make a list of what qualities you would like you husband to be.
3. Compare those lists and see which qualities do or do not overlap. For example, if you would like your husband or wife to be patient, well then you better be patient as well. If you're not, work on those qualities.

Communicate:
1. When you get into a serious relationship, talk to your significant other about important issues in marriage. How are you going to respond in certain situations?

"It's not fun like I thought it would be."

It may not be fun all the time, but it's definitely worth it.

I suppose I should ask you a question or two...
1. Why do you want to be married? Or, if it applies to you, why did you get married?
2. What can you do to prepare yourself for marriage?
3. What are some ways to avoid over thinking in a relationship or marriage?

Avec Amour,

Elisse

Reality Check

This week was a tad more challenging than I was hoping it would be. Despite all of that, I was able to learn a little bit more about myself. I had learned some upsetting news earlier on in the week and after having a small upset moment, I was okay again. It was just another bridge I had to get over. However, today hit me with a reality check like no other. There was no real warning, just sitting in Sunday School and, BAM, the news I had previously received sunk in and took over. Dane Cook (one of the greatest comedians - in my opinion) said, "we all have those days where we just need to cry." Today was one of those days. Not that it's a bad thing, but we need to let go - sometimes crying is the way to do it.

I sought after advice from a few friends and I gathered an overall theme - YOU ARE ENOUGH! And I just loved that. Because, you know what? I am enough. You are enough. For what? Anything. Everything. You. Will. Always. Be. Enough. Now the problem that is elicited from such a statement, is sometimes others don't see that about you. They think that they can find bettter. Or they don't try to really learn about how special you are. And if that's the case, forget them. They, obviously, don't know what they're missing out on. 

Because I recently brought up the topic of dating, I think that this is important information to keep in mind. When it comes to dating, we're going to have good and bad experiences. It's inevitable. In fact, I'm pretty sure that we signed a contract somewhere saying that we agree to the fact that dating is going to be hard - I think we're just all in denial that we signed it.

Now, sometimes these experiences are out of our control. For example, we can't control timing (dang that timing!). We can't control how someone is going to feel about us. We may not even be able to control how we feel about someone else. But what we can control is how we are going to respond to it. 

I would rather not get into details, but this trial I'm going through right now is not an easy one at all. It would be pretty easy to be cynical and just angry towards love or anything like it. But, where would that get me? It's hard to be vulnerable sometimes. I grew up thinking that I always had to be strong - and to let my guard down...that's not something I do very easily. Sure it could lead to some heartbreak, but it's better then sitting around and not knowing what that pain is like. Now that I know, I know I can and will get through it. 

Don't think I've had this "try-to-be-positive" outlook on it this whole time. 'Cause I haven't. It took a few people and a lot of praying to my Father in Heaven to help me try and find that silver lining. But you know what? I did. And you know what else? I'm okay. I'm actually really, really happy. Because even though this experience has kinda shattered my world, it gives me the chance to piece it back together the way I want it to be. Because I can choose how I'm going to react to it. I have the agency to do so. 

If there is anything that I've learned in life, it's that it doesn't matter what you're going through - how hard it is, or anything like that...there will always (and I mean ALWAYS) be something magical hidden somewhere inside it. We just need to be willing and open enough to look for it. 

And I hope that you can learn that as well; if you haven't already. 

One question I would like to pose - what are some insights you have received that have helped you get through some of the hardest dating situations? Don't feel like you have to go into detail about what happened, I would just love to learn some new techniques. 

So you...teach me some of your ways!

Avec Amour, 

Elisse

Dating

Class today was a relatively exciting one! We were given a couple of research scenarios and asked to pick what we thought would be the best solution to the presented problem. The second scenario generated quite a long discussion. And that discussion was, none other than the always exciting topic, dating. The answer I picked to be the best way to fix his research problem, was to define what dating is. 

I would like to pose the same question to you as well. How do you define dating? What does it mean to go on a date? What entails a date?

Aven Amour, 

Elisse

I Believe...

My name is Elisse and I am a believer of many things:

1. I believe in the capability to love
2. I believe in the capability to be loved
3. I believe that families do and should last into the eternities.
4. I believe in being completely and undoubtedly devoted to God
5. I believe in being completely and undoubtedly devoted to the one you love

Now I realize that I am a hopeless romantic - I think it's a quality that people first pick up about me. I also realize that we live in a world where society believes the whole "hopeless romantic" notion to be a dream. Well I am here to tell you that, that is false. Utter blasphemy!

I also don't want to mislead you in that I have a ton of experience in the field of love. I don't. I'm just a 20 year old who knows that love can work. It works because it's something you have to work on. And I believe that it's worth it.

I once heard a little story in which an elderly couple were asked, "How have you two made it so long?" To which they replied, "We come from a time where if something is broken, you fix it."

How precious is that?! Why and how has that common sense changed. We have found ourselves living in a world where when something is broken, you throw it away and get a new one. Why can't we try and fix it first? Granted there are marital situations in which separation may be the only option - such as adultery, abuse, etc. But money? Little quarrels that honestly mean nothing? That's not worth it.

I think that, in relationships, one reaches a point where they don't even know what they're fighting about. They just fight about everything. What's the point in doing that? Does it make you feel any less stressed? Does it make the problems go away? Why not take their hands in yours, sit them down, and tell them how much you love and care about them? I would take that option over anything.

6. I believe that we can change the view of marriage and families.
7. And I believe that I can help do that.

Avec Amour,

Elisse