Perspective

Give distance and avoidance --> Get distance and avoidance

When we are distant and avoid our spouse, we can very easily expect the same thing from them and vise versa.

It's an unfortunate cycle but it seems as though it's impossible to break. This is when we move from the natural and into the divine. This is when there needs to be a change.

And more specifically:

A CHANGE IN PERSPECTIVE!

Many would argue that there needs to be a change in behavior first. While that may work in some cases, how can there be a true change of behavior without first changing our personal perspective on the circumstances or the person?

By being willing to change our perspectives, we are allowing ourselves to see the situation as the other would see it.

For example:

Two men see an orange. They both want it and argue over who gets it until they finally decide to split it. The first man peels this orange and throws the peel away. The second man does the same except he throws the orange away.

The problem in this situation was the lack of communication between the two men. They both knew what they wanted but they weren't willing to tell the other.

When it comes to marriage, understanding your spouse's perspective is absolutely crucial. I feel as though that is one of the most selfless things we can do. We each have our initial beliefs on what we want, but we need to understand that they have their own belief as well.

Avec Amour,

Elisse

Marry Me

"Marry Me" - By Jason Derulo 

A hundred and five is the number that comes to my head
When I think of all the years I wanna be with you
Wake up every morning with you in my bed
That's precisely what I plan to do

And you know one of these days when I get my money right
Buy you everything and show you all the finer things in life
We'll forever be in love, so there ain't no need to rush
But one day I won't be able to ask you loud enough

[Chorus]
I'll say, "Will you marry me?"
I swear that I will mean it
I'll say, "Will you marry me?"

How many girls in the world can make me feel like this?
Baby I don't ever plan to find out
The more I look, the more I find the reasons why
You're the love of my life

You know one of these days when I get my money right
Buy you everything and show you all the finer things in life
We'll forever be in love, so there ain't no need to rush
But one day I won't be able to ask you loud enough

[Bridge]
And if I lost everything
In my heart it means nothing
'Cause I have you,
Girl, I have you
To get right down on bended knee
Nothing else would ever be better, better
That day when...

I'll say, "Will you marry me?"
I swear that I will mean it
I'll say, "Will you marry me?"

A hundred and five is the number that comes to my head
When I think of all the years I wanna be with you
Wake up every morning with you in my bed
That's precisely what I plan to do.

__________________________________________________________________

When I first heard this song, I thought it was one of the cutest songs! And then I really listened to the lyrics and realized that it wasn't as cute as I thought it would be. 

The song starts out by saying, "A hundred and five is the number that comes to my head when I think of all the years I wanna be with you." Growing up as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon), I have been taught that families are eternal. A hundred and five years is far less than the amount of time I would want to spend with my family. One thing that has always made me upset were the words, "Until death do you part" or, "As long as you both shall live." Being at my wedding, one the happiest days of my life, the last thing I would want to hear is that we can be happy and together...but only until death. 

The next line that I didn't quite agree with was, "And you know one of these days when I get my money right..." Now I'm not saying that money isn't important, because it is...but that shouldn't be the deciding factor of when you choose to get married. Is it easier knowing that you'll be more comfortable financially? Of course! But marriage isn't supposed to be easy. My Family Relations professor, Brother Michael Williams, once taught us that there is an amazing strength that comes when you start out not quite as well off because it allows you and your spouse to learn how to live without the best of the best. It puts the two of you in a vulnerable situation to either succeed or fail. Imagine starting out low, becoming more financially comfortable as your family grows, and continuing in that success as you go? Imagine the same situation but one day you find yourselves in another financial rut? This allows the the two of you to know how you lived without so much before and how you handled it. Children also benefit greatly when there are not as many finances being brought in - it forces the child to learn that there are some things that they can't have and there some instances when the child learns to be okay with this. 

Marriage is about bringing two people who love each other together and giving them the opportunity to start and create their family. Why not start it because you know it to be right and because you love each other? Not because you're struggling financially, you're worried what others will think, or even because you're scared. 

Making that amazing decision to get married and commit yourself to another is an act that should be pushing away the natural instincts and moving into the divine. 

Avec Amour, 

Elisse Cook

Why Bring a Child into this World?

Being a parent is potentially the greatest thing we will ever do in this life. We have been blessed with the very sacred and special opportunity to bring children into the world and raise them in righteousness. What greater gift could we ever ask or seek for?

One of the greatest purposes of parenting that I have studied this week is the capacity to love. Through this we, as parents, can learn:

1. To understand God

2. To serve

3. To become selfless

4. To be forced to encounter challenges

5. To prepare for eternal life

6. And to learn to love

It really is amazing the impact that parenting can have on the parent's, themselves.

Brother Michael Williams said, "We are reparented as we parent." How true a statement that is!

When we first think of becoming a parent whether it's for the first, third, or sixth time...it can be scary. We're scared because we're not quite sure if we're ready because we're still learning. However scary it may seem, I see it as being one of the most gratifying and selfless thing we could do. Giving of our time and ourselves to another human being. Giving absolutely everything we have to them. It's the ultimate sacrifice - but one that is so perfect despite the difficulties that will come.

Now I still don't know what that feeling is...but I have seen it. I have been a recipient of it. I chose to come to this earth knowing full well how difficult it would be. I knew there were going to be struggles. I knew that there was going to be heartbreak. I knew there were going to be times when I wondered how much more I could take before I broke. However, I knew the happiness that would come. I knew that I would overcome. I knew that it would be the greatest experience I could ever ask for.

And that's what I imagine parenting to be. We know we're going to be bringing children into this world in some way. We know there are going to be difficulties, struggles, heartbreak, and questioning. But we also know that there is going to be happiness, learned strength, and the greatest experience we could ever ask for.

Why bring a child into this world? 

Created by Unilever Project Sunlight

Avec Amour,

Elisse