This week in class, we studied four different family theories. The one that I found myself most interested in is the Exchange Theory - worth/outcome = rewards - cost. In short, relationships are a give and give back short of thing. This theory seemed to generate quite a bit of discussion in the sense of how much are we expecting in return.
My teacher, Brother Williams told a sweet story about him and his wife - he makes breakfast for his wife every morning and each day she says, "Thank you so much." And you can tell she says it so sincerely. And he said he doesn't expect anything in return because he can tell how appreciative she is of this service. One part that really got to me was, "I've never once felt the need to not make her breakfast. I just do it."
When he told us this story, I'm not going to lie, I got chills. I couldn't help but feel the love that they have for each other - true, sincere, and genuine love.
And that's how the Exchange Theory should be - we give because we love that person and we accept because that person's love is all we need.
And so I ask you this:
Why do we find it so difficult sometimes to accept another's effort and love? Especially when we have no problem offering it?
"I think being able to fall in love is a wonderful and strategic gift from our Heavenly Father. We are so much more likely to make the needed changes in our life to become celestial if we have someone in our lives we can't bear to be without through the eternities. Having them is almost like a gentle prod, and reminds us that eternity is dependent upon our choices here. They make the journey worth the struggle. I look forward to making that journey with my eternal companion one day so that we will truly have the chance to be together forever." - Sharene Larsen
Avec Amour,
Elisse
Perks of Being a Wallflower author, Stephen Chbosky wrote "we accept the love we think we deserve". I think we have trouble accepting love from others because we don't see ourselves as important enough or worthy of that love. It's the same reason we often dismiss compliments about our looks or talents. We don't think of ourselves as highly as others do or at least most of us don't want people to know if we do. If we were to fully accept love and service from others with the knowledge that we deserve it, we would feel like people thought we were entitled snobs and sometimes, that can be the case. Most of the time though, I think we fail to see ourselves as worthy children of God who do deserve the best. No matter where we come from, how old we are, how much we've been through, what we look like, or what we believe, we are all deserving of love. We are often much better at seeing the worth of others because it is much harder to be aware of ourselves whether it be in a positive or a negative way. And, as humans, we crave connection and one of the strongest ways to feel that connection is through love so, we are quite likely to give it away more willingly. It is hard to accept the fact that we deserve the best. We so often belittle ourselves when in reality, we should learn to uplift ourselves. It is hard for us to see ourselves for who we truly are, children of a Heavenly Father who are very deserving of love from others.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Alex!! I really love the points you brought up! Such amazing insight!
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